i saw you for the second time in this week

i saw you in my real life..
i saw your smile juat for me..
i saw your eyes just look at me..
i heard your voice say something to me..
i look your act for a while..
but i can't feel your heart , can't feel it..
:((
i hold your hand for a while ..
its the first time for us, why ? why i being fool -__-
i think it's become real and too much :(
i really can't handle my feel to you..
wanna let you go with all your reason that you say..but , i can't take it :(
really, i wanna make my mind to say if i wouldn't anything from you..
wanna let you go ! go ! go ! go away !
how the way i can lie ? i can lie to myself, i can lie to other, but i can't lie to your heart -,-
that's so wrong , right ?
no no no no no noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....i did wrong i guess ..
baby, i can't cherish your reason then :( i had lied :'(
so sorry ... not yet , no i can't accept your reason now..
altought i never know what your BIG REASON !! you never tell me ! did you think i have some magic to read your heart and know your reason with myself then ?
noooo...i'm nothing..
try to imagine if you're here, say something to me till i can understand with you..
i can't guess anything from you...
you're a full secret guy .. i too force myself to loving you..
here this time i have to release your hand ?
here this time i have to let you go away away away ??
here this time i have to cherish your reason without i never know ?
here this time i have to give up for my love ?
here this time i have to cry and dropped my tears for the last ?
here this time i have to stop loving you my fish ???
there so many reason for me ? what ?
honestly, to loving you i didn't need some reason, i just need to close my eyes and feel your heart, act, and all of you, there's i can feel love on you :">>
i think, love didn't need some reason to find the way to they bloom ..
they just need a time , need a respect, need a opportunity to make "it" BLOOM with all they way .. trust me, god has something perfect for us...
althought i really want you so much, but if god didn't let me to hold you all the time, i'll still loose you step by step..you trusted it ?
yep ! i love you,
i like you,
i need you,
i wanna hold you all the time,
i wanna give all my respect and attention for you,
but...IT'S ALL BEYOND MY POWER .. god has it , isn't me :'>

god gave you to me , god trusted me..
but god isn't let me to continue along with you..

hey .. follow your heart, don't follow your reason..
i'll looking forward for this hard situation, you too. right ?

should've i wait for you ???
should i looking for you ???
should i got my eyes on you ???
--"